heliolatry

[hee-lee-OL-uh-tree]

noun

Worship of the sun.

I remember hearing stories in college about Ibiza, where big-breasted women laid out naked practicing heliolatry on the beaches, and E pills were as abundant as hard candy in an old folks’ home.

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buss

[buhs]

noun

 A kiss; a playful kiss; a smack.

With one buss on the tip of my cock and a firm squeeze of my balls she had me hard in no time.

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ineluctable

[in-i-luhk-tuh-buhl]

adjective

 Incapable of being evaded; inescapable.

Christine O’Donnell’s ineluctable past as a piss-drunk cougar makes for a hilarious read…

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abstemious

[ab-stee-mee-uhs]

adjective

Characterized by abstinence.

Christine O’Donnell, the muppet version of Rachel Ray, has lived an abstemious life: one devoid of masturbation, sex, and reason.

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callow

[KAL-oh]

adjective

Immature; lacking adult perception, experience, or judgment.

My roommates told me how callow I was when I started stalking my whore of an ex-girlfriend.

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salubrious

[suh-LOO-bree-us]

adjective

Favorable to health; promoting health; healthful.

After promising myself a new way of living, last night’s coke-fueled, menthol cigarette binge was not as salubrious as I had originally intended.

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caterwaul

[KAT-uhr-wawl]

noun

 A shrill, discordant sound.

I often wonder if my neighbors can hear the caterwauls of my nightly, ritualistic porn enjoyment.

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