Listen to heliolatry pronounced

[hee-lee-OL-uh-tree]

noun. Worship of the sun.

I remember hearing stories in college about Ibiza, where big-breasted women laid out naked practicing heliolatry on the beaches, and E pills were as abundant as hard candy in an old folks’ home.

Listen to bathos pronounced

[BEY-thos]

noun. Insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.

I can’t stand these jerk-off guys on the Bachelorette, all laying on the bathos extra thick to try to get in this broad’s skirt.

Listen to swain pronounced

[SWEYN]

noun. A country gallant.

Sarah Palin knows how to rile up the swains when she goes on tour. The question is, how many of them does she let inseminate her daughter?