September 18

malinger

Listen to malinger pronounced

[muh-LING-guhr]

intrans. verb. To feign or exaggerate illness or inability in order to avoid duty or work.

If I were being deployed to that shithole Iraq, I’d start malingering the minute the assholes told me.

September 16

expunge

Listen to expunge pronounced

[ik-SPUNJ]

trans. verb. To wipe out or destroy; to annihilate.

My shithead of a cousin managed to get his three DUIs and possession of a controlled substance expunged from his record.

September 14

quandary

Listen to quandary pronounced

[KWAHN-duh-ree]

noun. A state of difficulty, perplexity, doubt, or uncertainty.

It’d have been less of a quandary if it weren’t for the fact that I was stark naked, and had vomited all over my iPhone.