September 18


Listen to malinger pronounced


intrans. verb. To feign or exaggerate illness or inability in order to avoid duty or work.

If I were being deployed to that shithole Iraq, I’d start malingering the minute the assholes told me.

September 16


Listen to expunge pronounced


trans. verb. To wipe out or destroy; to annihilate.

My shithead of a cousin managed to get his three DUIs and possession of a controlled substance expunged from his record.

September 14


Listen to quandary pronounced


noun. A state of difficulty, perplexity, doubt, or uncertainty.

It’d have been less of a quandary if it weren’t for the fact that I was stark naked, and had vomited all over my iPhone.